The Art of Inappropriatism
by time-will-give-us-nothing
Summary: Neville's thoughts as he is turned into a vampire by Draco Malfoy. HALLOWEEN CHALLENGE 2. COMPLETE


**The Art of Innapropriatism**

Halloween Challenge 2

-Neville's Point of View_-_

You see, my life sucks. That's a great way to start this, isn't? Me talking about myself. Hell, the story is about me. I shouldn't say that word 'hell'. It's inappropriate, and Gram always told me not to use inappropriate words because they were, err, _inappropriate_. Did you realize I said inappropriate three times in the same sentence? I counted. You didn't, but you had a mental note ding in your head to complain to me, 'you say inappropriate too much'. Don't worry. We only just did a whole paragraph on the likes of inappropriatism. That's not a word.

I'm not that narrative, I hope. At least I'm not ordering you away, saying 'you do this' and 'you did that'— that's annoying. I get turned off by books like that. I don't get turned off when I see Harry Potter naked though. Quite the opposite actually, I get turned on. That's my sexual preference, if you couldn't tell. I'm a fag. Homo. Did you know that fag is three letters? And that homo is four, and it's the short version for homosexuals? There's a reason behind that. There's a _reason _why they have to use short words.

You see, people who insult people are what I like to call 'Draco Malfoy's'. Granted, their not as sexy as the real Draco Malfoy, but they definitely earned the heat factor for verbal. _Ve-e-e-erbal_. That's a fun word. Idiot. You see, they had to use the word _fag_, a three letter word that actually stands for what muggles call a cigarette, to explain a person who likes the same sex. They actually had to shorten a ten letter word with five syllables into a short four letter word with two syllables. That obviously means they aren't the brightest of the bunch—you have to give 'em props though. They managed to make a lot of other people all around the world be stupid. I think that deserves a medal.

I'm talking too much. Deal with it. You're inside my mind. Not inside yours, and not inside 'his'. Do you see this?_ I...Me..._That clearly defines this story being about moi. If you don't like it, click out of this. Please? Your mind might be severely damaged at the end of this. Do you want that too happen? Ah, hell, it doesn't matter. (1)We only use about 10 percent of our brain capacity. Pathetic, ain't it? So if your mind blows, it won't make a big difference. You should let it blow. You idiot. Moron.

People call me a moron, a retard, and an idiot in different languages (I suspect, it could be slang or something). My favorite one is hopeless, though. It's simple and strait to the point, and actually _really _true. Maybe your fucked up in the head a little (ooh, I cursed! Inappropriate word!) so you couldn't comprehend the fact that I'm _far _away from being stupid. I'm too thoughtful, right?

Well, that doesn't cross out crazy.

I could be insane. I could be a lot of things. I could be a girl with a sexy body and a whore face. I could be an obese person who likes to complain aloud allot about unimportant things. I could be a jock who laughs at nerds and makes fun of them just for self pleasure. Or I can be the nerd. No point in explaining that one. Out of all those four, which one do you think I mostly am? Don't let the name get your off, my parents could've been _sane _while they named me.

I think you got it. Only nerds complain about their life. They do. Mentally. Do you see quotation marks? I don't. You're not blind, are you? I hope your not. (2) I wouldn't suggest going to a drive-in ATM, muggle. Even _if _they have Braille… I would rather be blind then deaf. I rely too much on music, I swear. That's a personal preference, however. Doesn't matter. To you.

It matters to me. Everything matters to me.

`... damn, this sucks. That's how this all started. This whole collage of random thoughts that you need neither hear nor pay attention to, but you do it anyway. You obviously did, if you got this far. Am I saying obvious too much? Everything is obvious... that's... I'm getting off track. Again.

Please don't let me get off track.

You know what, Fu-inappropriate you! You can go to h- inappropriate! I don't care about you at all! I don't care about you, she, he, them, their, fuck, anyone! And I swear to Fu-inappropriate god if a get another bit-inappropriate image of my grandmother scolding me I'm going to make something burst into a million shards!

....I'm not drunk.

I'm just kinda of....

....

....

....

....

....drained.

**Complete **

1. Well, looking online for about three minutes(my fingers move so fast I can do anything in a short time) I saw that allot of answers reflected the 10%.

2. Hehe, did you get that? Drive-in ATMS actually _do _have Braille on them. Ask your parents or friend if you don't get it. Trust me, I didn't get it at first either. Granted, I didn't know what the hell Braille was.

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN**


End file.
